November 10, 2014

World Adoption Day & National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. My plan is to share some posts that are adoption related, so we'll see how that goes, since most things I do don't go according to plan. Yesterday was the first ever World Adoption Day, and we were thrilled to be able to celebrate as an adoptive family. We took our smiley face picture and were happy to add it to the thousands of other pictures people were posting on social media. I'm just so proud of this little family of ours and so thankful that adoption is a part of our story.
 
During the month of November, I am joining in on a series on Instagram called Knit Together by Adoption (#knittogetherbyadoption), where we post each day on a specific topic surrounding adoption. Feel free to follow along on instagram (@melindaann), as I am sure I will be more consistent with posting there than here.
 
I also thought I would share a few interesting things I've read around the internet related to Adoption Awareness Month....

Adoption, Once and Always
Adoption, Once and Always
Adoption, Once and Alway
 
I hesitated to share the following, because there is one comment in the video that I strongly disagree with. One of the women shared that it's not true when parents say they have the same love for their adopted kids as they do for their biological kids. She says it is actually very different, as she has both adopted and biological kids. Maybe I am misunderstanding her statement, but I think it's unfair of her to speak on behalf of all adoptive parents. This statement is not true for us or for the many adoptive families I know. That being said, I think the women in this video bring up fantastic points about the adoptee perspective. We have so much to learn from their experience and will be better able to parent our own children by listening to what they have to say.

 

A great book from an adoptee perspective, particularly with transracial adoption, is In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories . I read this while we were in the process of adopting, and while some of it is hard to hear as an adoptive parent, reading about the experience of these adoptees was invaluable.  

There are obviously a variety of perspectives when it comes to adoption. The adoptive parent, the birth parent and the adoptee all have powerful things to say about adoption through their experiences. We need to hear all their voices and learn from each of them.  I will continue sharing mine, as well as reading and learning from others, and I hope you will do the same.  

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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 13, 2023 at 4:32 PM

    I have bio and adopted kids and the love is VERY different. But in my case it truly is reversed. Hubby is considered medically sterile, my fertility is excellent. We tried to get pregnant for 3 years. After fertility treatments for years we gave up, got prayed over then had 2 miracle kids. I should have been thrilled, I loved my kids but the process to truly loving them was hard and slow for me. It took me nearly a year to fully bond and I had a lot of shame as I really wanted them.

    Fast forward to adopting, it was always my dream. I had zero issues bonding to them and love was immediate. I'm here to say, all my kids are mine and I'm blessed to have each of them but for some of us carrying a baby is not the easy road to love. I think I got to know my kids I was adopting before they came home making the process feel much like dating a person versus the blind date and not knowing the child I carried yet. Adopting was so much easier for me we chose to end the bio route and get hubby the dreaded procedure. We currently have 2 adult bio sons, ages almost 27 and almost 25 and 4 kids through adoption, 3 girls and 1 boy ages almost 13, 12 11, 9 and another boy age 9 still stuck in China awaiting us. All these kids are my kids but ya if I was interviewed, I would openly say, what if you love your adopted kids faster, cause you could.

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  2. AnonymousMarch 13, 2023 at 7:08 PM

    Forgot to add I too was adopted.....heard all kinds of insensitive comments as well. My Dad adopted me at birth when my bio Mom had me, so I have both sides. None of my kids, adopted or bio owe me ANY gratitude. They never asked to be born or for ME to be their Mama, I am honored to be their Mom. I had to fight to have connections with my first 2 bio kids, my heart grown kids the love was instant, but regardless..it a privilege and not a right to have all my kids. I'm sickened any adoptee is made to feel bad, ever. Just so wrong.

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