September 24, 2010

Red Ants and Lost Minds

red ants......
The other day at school, I came out to recess duty and one of my kids (we'll call him C) hustled over to me looking very concerned. This is how our conversation went:
C: Mrs Kinnier, I got bit by a wed ant. Thewe's a wed ant hill ova on the field. (note the adorable lisp)
Me: Uh-oh, you should make sure to stay away from there.
C: It's weally bothewing me.
Me: Ok, the bell is about to ring, so when we get back into class, I will write you a pass to the nurse so you can get some lotion on it.
C: Okay. Umm...evwethings stawting to look bluwy (blurry)
Me: Maybe you should sit down at the tables.
C: Okay. Umm, did a cloud just pass ova us because evewething just went dawk.
Me: No, no cloud. Can you see anything?
C: Not weally.
Me: Ok, well the bell just rang. Do you think you can make it to our line.
C: I think so.
He did make it to the line and I sent him down to the nurse. He came back good as new. Who knew calamine lotion could cure blindness.
lost minds.....
On Monday, I got a call when I was on my way home from school. It was my mother's frantic voice. She locked her keys in her car. She was subbing at a school in Garden Grove and needed someone to come pick her up. That someone was me. That is the priviledge that I am blessed to have because I commute so far to work. I pass almost every member of my family at their workplaces on my drive. So, I am the natural person to call. Anyways, I had to pick up my dear sweet mother and then drop myself off at home and let her take my car to find her spare key and meet up with my dad to go back up to Garden Grove to get the car.
(Belle with her real mom and dad)
Fast forward to today. I get another call from my mom. Same time. Another frantic voice. She LOST her keys this time. She had a key that would let her into her car, but not the key that would start her car. She searched the classroom she was subbing in 3 times. She emptied her purse 3 times. She searched the car 3 times. So, I came to her rescue once again. I searched the car and emptied her purse. I wanted to go back and look in the classroom again, but mom was too embarrassed because she had already been into the office multiple times to turn in the sub keys, then get them back to search some more, then turn them in again. I drove her to the car dealership so that she could get another key made. They informed us that they are unable to make a new key for you without having your car there. Which means the car has to be towed there. And, no big deal, it only costs $280 to get a new key made (they are opting to go with the cheaper valet key instead, which is only $130....what a deal). Thankfully, Aunt Karen has AAA. So, I took my mom to meet up with my dad, and he gets the pleasure of taking over the situation from there.
Dear Dad,
Please don't die anytime soon. As you know, my mother is a little high maintenance, and I am too young to have to take care of her already.  I am glad that is your job right now (a full time job in itself). Plus, you are really good at cutting out walls.

p.s. Mom wants to blame you for her little key problem she keeps having.  She says you took the keys off the key ring and that's why she keeps having these little mishaps.  Just thought I'd warn you. 

p.p.s. I know you hate the font that I normally use on this blog, so I wrote your letter in a different font.  Wasn't that nice of me?

Post Script

The key saga continues.  Read the comments to hear more.


  1. Okay. I probably am one of Mindy's most faithful readers like she once said, but I never write anything -- until now when it seems I must come to my own defense. So I will continue the story where Mindy left off. Mark and I drove back to Garden Grove and awaited the tow truck that was to be there at 5:52 (originally it was 5:15 but Triple A changed the time.) We got there at 5:45 -- in plenty of time. At 6:15 the truck had not arrived so I called to see what was going on. I was told they had already been there - at 5:30 - and we weren't there so they left. They would send someone again. Finally, at 6:45 the truck shows up and tows it away. Yes, it is going to the dealership so that I can be ripped off by having to buy another key. Technology can go too far -- whatever happened to the simple keys that could be made at those little buildings with drive-up windows you would see sometimes in parking lots?

    Anyway, to continue...

    Since the tow truck came so late, there was no way my car would make it to the dealership before 7:00 when the service department closed. This presented a problem because someone had to sign for the car at the dealership. So, after several phone calls and my patience being put to an unbelievable test, the dealership said someone would be able to sign for it. So hopefully the car made it.

    Now, however, my Saturday, (which, by the way, for those of you who are enjoying reading this short book and do not live in Southern California, it is supposed to be a gorgeous summer day tomorrow - beach weather, swimming pool, etc.)will be taken up going to the dealership, signing for it because they won't touch the car until I do, and then waiting (they have already told me they are extremely busy tomorrow) for them to make a key.

    I know many of you are thinking that all of this is my fault. I will admit that I have always hated the excuse "It's not my fault. It never would have happened if...", but I do feel that Mark's preference for carrying a single car key in his pocket instead of having it on a keychain with other keys seems to present a problem for me. It is much easier to lose a single key than a whole set of keys and since we only have one key for that car (another whole story which I am probably to blame)we have to share the single key.

    So that's my story. I will try not to think of all the things I could do with the money the dealership is taking from me and just move on. The sad thing is, I had just spent $75 for them to fix this same key I just lost.

    And by the way, on Monday when I thought I lost my key and Mindy picked me up, I really hadn't lost it. She took me home and Mark and I drove back to the school where I had left the car with the spare key. (oh, I forgot to tell you we actually have a spare key, but due to technological advances in the ignition system of cars these days, the spare key only opens the doors. For some reason, somebody seems to think it's not necessary for them to actually start the car.) When we got there and searched the car but couldn't find the key I thought I had locked in it, Mark dumped my purse (which I had had all along) and found the key. Yes, I searched my purse before calling Mindy, but evidently not good enough. It had somehow (once again not really my fault) fallen into the lining of my purse and I didn't feel it in there.

    So that's my story and anyone who actually read this from start to finish has too much free time on their hands.

    Thanks Mindy. I LOVE YOU!!!

  2. Oh my gosh. This is so Swenson. Any further comment is unnecessary and would be redundant.

    Okay, wait for it... Amy is about to become defensive.

    Love you all.

  3. Why you tryin ta keep a brotha down? Keep the new font or I'll take my cheesyness somewhere else...

  4. Red Ants and Lost Minds: Kids do say the darnest things don't they?

  5. Mindy, this is hysterically funny! Yes, I read the whole thing.

    I have very faint memories of missing keys (entire keychains full of keys) way back in the 80's when we lived near you. Just stories of it, though; I never witnessed it in person.