May 7, 2012


I thought I should make a few clarifications after my last post.  I realize that my sarcasm can sometimes come across more harshly than I intend it to, so I thought I should let you know that I am not angry, I do not hate pregnant people, and I do not hate people with kids. When I was writing that post, I was not feeling angry or vicious or spiteful. I know many pregnant people, including my best friend, whom I love and adore and am thrilled for.  I could write a whole post about the complexity of emotions that go along with being friends with people who are experiencing the joy that you also want to experience with them.  But I'll save it.  Or maybe never write it, because that is stuff that I work out with them. 

Do I have moments of anger?  Yes, but I am not angry.  I have moments of sadness, but I am not sad.  Mostly, I still feel thankful.  Thankful for my husband and my pups, thankful for my parents and my sisters and my extended family, for my in-laws, for my friends (even the pregnant ones...or especially the pregnant ones), thankful for our house, for our community.  With or without babies, there are things in my life that are good.  Things that bring me joy, that make me laugh, that make me happy.  And if I were to live in my anger and sadness, I would be denying myself these good gifts that God has given me.  So please, please, please don't pity me....(or the pregnant people in my life).

Yes, I would say we are in a phase of suffering right now.  A phase that has been going on much longer than we anticipated.  A phase that has rocked us to our core and has caused us to call into question everything we've ever believed about God and his goodness.  But, it's a phase where we have been met by God, not in the ways we had hoped for, but in ways that are good....where He is teaching us that He is enough, that our pain does not define us, that our identity and security are in Him.

"I have told you all this* so that you may have peace in me.  Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
(If you want to know what "all this" is, you can read John 16.  My theologian, bible scholar, pastor husband doesn't like that I am writing this verse without telling you what "all this" is.)

All that being said, sometimes I am going to be sarcastic.  It helps me make light of our situation.  So, if and when that happens, remember this post.  I am still okay.  And I don't hate anyone. (Except the devil, who made me infertile....that bastard!)

So, enough about infertility!  Let's move on already.  Because I do have a life outside of this crap, and, like I said,  it's a good one.  And, we have new life at our house these days, in the form of a garden, thanks to the green thumb of my father-in-law, who just so happened to be visiting last weekend.
And, we will have berries to eat very soon!
Happy Monday to You!


  1. (((((((HUGS))))))) You will get that baby somehow, I just know it.

  2. Wow. Apparently my computer is beating me today. I was signed in as Michael for that first comment and then I'm not sure what happened to the second. What I'm TRYING desperately to write is this...

    I love you, Mindy. Thank you for being so unabashedly real, especially regarding matters that most people are too fearful (ahem, ME) to confront. Praying for you two. And the garden looks GREAT!

  3. Mindy, I pray for you every day that God will bless you and give your everything your heart desires. Clearly, God's timing for His blessings are sometimes different than our timing. As I've shared with you before, one of my favorite verses is Proverbs 3:5-6 which encourages us to, "Trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding, but in all our ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our paths." I know that sometimes it's hard to "trust in the Lord" when we are in the midst of turmoil and heartache, but when we do we eventually receive His blessing - IN HIS TIME. As you know, your mother and I waited several years for God to bless us with our first child, and look what happened. HE BLESSED US WITH YOU, our firstborn among four incredible daughters that he ultimately blessed us with - IN HIS TIME! I can't imagine life any other way. Indeed He knew what was best for us and saved the best for us. Don't lose hope and continue to "trust in the Lord." His plan AND His timing are perfect. You are proof of that. I LOVE YOU! Dad

  4. Hi, I stumbled upon your blog and I am so grateful that I did. This post puts in words EXACTLY how I feel! My husband and I are in a similar infertility boat. And I am the only woman in my extended family who does not have a child or is pregnant. It seems all of my married friends are enjoying the "fruits of their labor" as well. ;)

    We have been in the process of becoming Foster Parents but even that process has been a long hard road with still a few more months ahead before we can welcome a child into our home.

    All this to say, thank you a million times over for sharing and being vulnerable, for putting words to this perspective of struggling yet being genuinely joyful for those who have been blessed with our greatest desire. I cannot express how utterly grateful I am to know that I am not alone and my thoughts and feelings are shared with a sister in Christ.

    May God shower both of us with extra Grace this Sunday. :)

  5. Mo....I'm so glad you found my blog too. I wish I could reply to you via email, but hopefully you will see this comment. I wish you the best on your road to becoming foster parents. We hope to do the same someday. Your comment was very encouraging, and I am so thankful you shared. Happy Mother's Day to you!